Whatever happened to my hat?

My agent, Jeanie invited me to a party in London recently, where I met a very avid reader of mine, a tv-producer called Jan, also Dutch who I have met before, back when I was still new to the scene and trying out my persona. In other words, he remembers me wearing the hat and asked me when I wasn't wearing it at the party.

I have to confess, it has been years since I have worn it. My hat-logo is just there to mislead my readers into assuming that I lead a mysterious life, stumbling into bars and talking to strangers, papa was a rolling stone and all that. But I have found a home or, at least, I have been trying to find one, so the hat had to go. What I am trying to say is, well it was a good party, the one in London. Jeanie throws the best parties. But what I liked most about it, is how whenever I took a step back from socializing and looked out on the crowd with some perspective, I was thinking about coming home and sitting at my desk, waking up to a cup of coffee and typing something for my blog.

And my hat sits on top of my bookshelf, slowly gathering dust. Every time I try it on, it fits a little less. I go out to bars. The bars, they've stopped being dark or misty smoke-filled pirate ship cargo-holds. I enjoy a drink in something lighter now, with a terrace. The strangers I talk to, our conversations are brief. They start to annoy me, I just politely tell them that I'd like to go back to my reading. I always bring a book to read. I have given up on pick-up lines, or mysterious silences, the brief romance encounters have dwindled, but I am having more interesting and nourishing conversations with those same women than I ever did when I would get drunk as an excuse to skip any kind of small talk. And in all that, in giving up the typical writer lifestyle, my worst fear hasn't come true. My well of inspiration hasn't dried up. And my writing hasn't gotten worse, it got better.

Dear reader, thank you for showing an interest in my words. I appreciate how extraordinary it is, to be able to connect to someone through this medium.